ferret

I think the day is finally starting to settle into place. I'm surprised I'm even here, blog here, at all. I tried to get at you today, but to no avail. I blame it on the blindside of my fretting. I fretted all the way through the lunch time trail from work to the library. The plan was to settle there and type it out a bit, but I was worried about a covert lunch in the library. A reprimand when a snooty librarian found me tucked in a corned of Magnolia Libraries wooden frame, stuffing my mouth with jellies and cookies. I didn't want to become infamous at the library, I like my brief lunchtime visits. I opted to stuff my pbnj in my mouth as I strided to the library, trying to avoid raindrops with speedy chewy. Walking fast, eating a sandwich, raining, blarghole. I know that's why I was fretting. It was cold and awkward. It's awkward because of the front desk of my job, I don't want to eat lunch in our infrequently used conference room, but I'm gonna now. I want to use the internet freely, even if its the twnenty minute speed click of my lunch window. I won't do more on the work comp other than some strategic peeks at reasonable websites for a reasonable young coworker, read nytimesnytimezzz.

So I get to the library, sandwich in stomach. The library doesn't open till 1pm, my daytime hunger means it's only 12:10pm. The lunch hour is well into its roll to a close. I stare at the windows of the library in my eerie half thinking half nothing style. I can see them working; just notice me and make an exception. I turn around and head back to the command center of Magnolia village. This lunch was supposed to be about $ thrift, but I can't stoop back into work after departing, I fret it out too much. I press the Tully's button and strut in. Waffle over chips or new yerba mate canned cold drink, mint...I go for both, well no. Sec, the water is boiling, and like I said, I think the day is settling, the boil counts with that. Just a sec. Midway there, purr purr wants the leftoverrs: sauce and turkey joes. Delorean sounds like speedACollectiveGrimesHOMAGE it suits me right now, I like to be seized by clapping and swaying.

So I go for both chips and drink, the lady says some lunch, I say no, they're just additions. I already ate the sandwich, this is part 2 I guess. She says $4 practically $5, I say no chips. So I buy the pricy yerba, but it's mintish and something about rainforest redemption...sigh, feels better than just missing $ because I've been up the old fretting. I eat the cookies from the gal at home and eat 'em with the yerba at Tully's...worry, sorry fret, about getting scolded for outside food, so I scarf the cookies. It was cool though. Sip on the tea, read Jane Eyre and then back to the office (I'll save those topics for when they flesh out).

I thought about this spacesiteblog while I was hustling to the closed library, shoving that pbnj inside. I thought about what I could do, I got excited, thought about talking about the rainwalk and the fretz. Then I thought about mentioning how I got excited, then I thought how I shouldn't cuz its hack to talk about all the thinking about the writing you want to do is. Then I thought if I mentioned that feeling of doubt that it would all cross it out and my thoughts would redeem themselves, it's like forcing the fresh out from under the old exposed layers. The outside and insider are just as old, it's just the outsides been airing out or something. Ha nosense, but I thought it was funny, me forcing this already and trying to talk it out inside my head enough to make it interesting to force this kind of writing-thinking. The stove is beeping like crazy, it's time to eat this shit. Sway to Delorean!